How to help a child survive a parental divorce

Divorce is a matter of two adults, so children should be fenced off from it as much as possible. Often, a child as a result of a divorce of parents develops a feeling of guilt, so it is important to explain that such a situation has developed in the relationship between mom and dad and the child is in no way to blame for it.

It is important to remain loving parents for the child and let this be understood by the child. Both mom and dad should find time for the child every day, regardless of whether they live together. Communicate with your child every day, take an interest in their life, help solve problems and give advice where the child needs them. Divorce, even the most difficult thing, is not a reason to forget about your child, especially in the modern world, where there are so many ways to communicate.

Do not criticize your ex-wife or ex-husband with a child or encourage the child to speak critically of mom or dad. Sometimes children for various reasons can say something bad about one of the parents – you should not join such a dialogue.

Do not use your child to get information about each other’s lives. Often divorced parents are interested in information about each other’s lives, but you can not make a child an intermediary in this process. If something is really very interesting, but there is no way to ask personally , ask mutual adult friends. Your child may be uncomfortable telling about mom/dad what she/he asked not to tell and uncomfortable to refuse. Do not exacerbate children’s feelings of guilt.

Do not turn a child’s resemblance to a former partner into a flaw. For example, “You are just like your dad” in a humiliating tone forms a negative attitude of the son towards the father. The child has the right to personal memories and personal conclusions, you should not impose your experience.